Title: Contentment in God's Love
Scripture : Psalm 34:18
Date : December 8, 2008
Last Updated : December 9, 2008
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
The LORD is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
I've strayed away from God's love for too long. His love is perfect, abundant, patient, kind, everything I've ever needed and more. While I was a sinner, He loved me enough to send His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross to pay for my sins! MY sins! He did it for all of mankind, but even me?! YES ME!?
Who else would do that for me? LOVE LIKE THAT IS HARD TO FIND. So why do I feel like it's not enough for me?
I'm ashamed to admit this, but I believe that deep down inside, I've convinced myself that it was not enough; that I needed the world to love me. I have looked to the world for love, acceptance, happiness, contentment, satisfaction and fulfillment. But instead, I feel more empty than ever.
This world has offered me nothing but lies, deceit, disappointment, empty promises, pain and tears. But yet, in this emptiness I still search and seek after its love.
God offers life, truth, forgiveness, love, genuine promises and more, but yet, I am not contented, because I have not fully accepted it."What peace I often forfeit and what needless pain I bear! All because I don't bring it to God in prayer."
This world offers me nothing. It doesn't love me the way that I want to be loved. But God, He loves me more than I need, more than I ask. He would never close the door on me; He would never turn His back on me. I wish everyone could love me like He does. But they can't, and never will.
Everyday, I need to remind myself of this.
Some days, I blame the world for all that goes wrong in my life, other days I blame myself.
Sometimes I try to convince myself to just give up, that the happiness I seek can not be found, and when I "think" I've found it, it can never be reached; that I'm not good enough, that I don't deserve it. But these are all lies, lies lies.
Why is it that I can't see that the enemy is not my friends, not my family, not society, and especially, the enemy is not God, but it is me. Me, because I choose to believe in a lie, when I have the truth right in front of me. For too long, I've "been blind, and thought my second chance was gone. Feeling battered and helpless, I've been taking any love I can, to try and stop the pain."
I hold the truth in one hand, the truth that comes from God, which says that I am worth it. I'm worth God's sacrifice, sending His son, Jesus, to die and suffer for my sake so that I may have life. The truth that I don't need the world's love to feel complete, but that I will be complete with God's love. The truth that says that I AM BEAUTIFUL, rather than looking at magazines or those other pretty girls or listening to those who gawk and rave about their beauty while I go unnoticed, and then compare myself to them as my reflection stares back at me. The truth that I AM SOMEBODY rather than feeling insecure, inferior and invisible.
At the same time, I hold many lies in the other hand. The lie that everybody hates me, the lie that says that I'm not good enough, the lie which causes me to question why I'm here, why do I exist, the lie that says that I'm not needed, when God says that I am needed. He placed me here for a purpose, to accomplish His will, to love others and bear witness to them about the Gospel of Christ. I hold the lie that says that I'm not wanted, that tells me I shouldn't approach people because I'll only be rejected. The lie that says that I can't. But God says that I CAN. The lie that says that that I am a failure and to just give up. Lies, Lies, Lies! They all come from Satan. He wants me to fall, to stumble, to lose faith in God and to lose faith in myself. And the worst lie of all, that God doesn't love me.
I need to remember that no matter what happens in this life, no matter what people tell me, believe about me, or think of me, the only thing that matters in this life is that I have God. At one point or another, everyone I love will disappoint me, everything I believe in will falter, But God does not falter, God does not fail, God will not disappoint me, and when I grab on to such a stronghold like Him, when I keep holding on to this fortress, to this solid foundation, to God, I will make it through. If God is for me, who can be against me? NO ONE.
I want you to reread this. OUT LOUD with faith and confidence, believing every word! This is your heart speaking. Give your heart a voice, let out the pain and bring in God's love, so that it may begin to heal! God loves you.YES, YOU! Your family and friends love you! But remember, they are only humans, just like you. No human is perfect, and chances are, they are carrying the same pain as you. And when we all walk with this pain, it affects the way we interact with others, and just causes more hurt and pain for all. But just imagine, everyone carrying God's love in their hearts. How sweet life would be! Anger and pain spread like wildfire, but smiles and love are contagious. The symptoms of peace may not show up right away, but the more we are exposed to this new found joy, the closer we are to being healed, and closer we allow God to us.
Don't be afraid to trust again. If there is only one person to trust in, it's God. Steps to peace with God are trusting in Him. Have faith in Him, because He will never take you where His grace can not keep you. Tough times may come in life, but remember, He is "the calm when your world is crashing."
Psalm 34:18 (The Message)
If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath.
If you ask me, this is love worth finding.
Pray this prayer out loud :
Lord God, I need you. I need your love, I need your acceptance. I've searched everywhere for what I need and I've only come back empty handed, or sometimes with less than I'd begin with. God, I'm tired of searching, and I'm close to giving up, believing that true happiness does not exist, or at least, not for me.
But today, I heard of a wonderful love, a perfect love, a strong love that is here to stay, a love for me. This is Your love, because You love me so much. I guess I'll never know how much You love me, or why You love me, because your love is so great and immeasurable. But I do know that you love me enough to send Jesus to die for me. I may not know the whole story, or why you would do this. But Lord, open up my eyes, so that I can see the truth that you want to reveal to me.
I am ready to put away every roadblock, every obstacle I've placed in front of me, to stop me from searching because I was afraid of getting hurt. But now I'm willing to try one more time. And even if times get tough again, Lord, help me not to give up, because I want to experience Your love. Please forgive me for every wrong I've done, I am truly sorry, and help me to forgive those who have hurt me. I struggle with insecurities, acceptance and low self esteem, Lord take them away, because I don't want them anymore. I acknowledge that Your love is all that I need. Lord, show me Your love, so that I can love others, and help those who feel the way I do.
The devil is a liar, but he can't lie to me anymore. Your truth is being made known to me and that is all that I'll see. God, I realise that I need Your help. I can't do this by myself. Please be with me always, Lord, strengthen my faith and don't let me get caught up in world, because I want to be caught up in You. I've made so many mistakes, I've wasted so much time searching for empty love, but now I place my life in Your hands, and I know that I'll be safe. And when someone else hurts me, with Your help, I know I'll be able to deal with it, to heal from it, and to forgive them, and even help them too. I want to know your truth, open up my heart and my eyes, because I am ready for happiness. This is just the beginning. Thank you God. Thank you.
You designed us to love, but in a world full of hate, it's hard to know what true love is and really means. So God, I pray that as I begin to accept Your love, that You'll show me what true love is, so that when someone comes along and tells me that they love me, I would recognize this love, and see that it is true, because I've seen it in You.
In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray, Amen.
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